Essential tips and tools to make your sex life deeper

Whether you’re taking time for yourself to wind down and relax or to massage the stress out, your mental health benefits from self care just as much as your physical health. And we all know they’re equally important – especially if you’re sexually active. Sexual self care is vital, end of story.

Yes, regular doctor visits are important, but are they enough when it comes to your sexual health? Getting to know yourself sexually is not only a lifelong journey, but it’s extremely rewarding. Here are four key ways to enjoy this wonderful aspect of your life.

1) Reacquaint yourself with your body.

There’s a world of books out there that you walk away from smarter than when you originally picked them up. And yes, this includes books about your anatomy and sex life. Because even if you think you know it all, there’s a really good chance you don’t. Listed below are some highly recommended reads that will help you become reacquainted with yourself.

Pussy: A Reclaimation by Regena Thomashauer

Photo via Amazon

From the publisher: It just may be the most pejorative word in the English language. It’s the ultimate salacious smack to a woman’s dignity, used to hurt, humiliate, and dehumanize. No one calls you a “pussy” when they want to tell you how radiant you look, how capably you work, or what an inspiring life you lead. That’s about to change. In this remarkable book, Regena Thomashauer, founder of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, reclaims the word for what it rightly is: the highest of all possible compliments, a sacred living prayer. Pussy has been written to reacquaint you with your own power source—both figuratively and literally. Drawing on Mama Gena’s 25 years of research into women’s history, experience, and potential, you’ll ramp up your “cliteracy” and learn to awaken a part of yourself you’ve been taught to repress or even despise. You’ll see that pussy is anything but pornographic—it’s actually the seat of all feminine power and pleasure. And you’ll discover how a woman’s sensual awareness is critical for her spiritual, intellectual, and emotional health.

Price on Amazon: $9.99+

Buy it here

Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era by Boston Women’s Health Book Collective

Photo via Amazon

From the publisher: America’s best-selling book on all aspects of women’s health With more than four million copies sold, “Our Bodies, Ourselves” is “the” classic resource that women of all ages can turn to for information about every aspect of their well-being. Completely revised for the first time in a decade, these pages give women everything they need for making key decisions about their health — from definitive information from today’s leading experts to personal stories from other women just like them. This updated edition of “Our Bodies, Ourselves” includes the latest on: – Nutrition and exercise – Relationships, sexuality, and sexual health – Complementary health practices – Reproductive choices, pregnancy, and childbearing – Growing older – Medical testing and procedures Together with its companion website (www.ourbodiesourselves.org), “Our Bodies, Ourselves” is a one-stop resource for women of all generations. Plus: The rearranged food pyramid, a chapter about sexual orientation and gender identity, advice for making safer sex more fun, the latest on breast-feeding, support for women experiencing pregnancy loss, and a section devoted to getting the best care in today’s complicated health care system.

Price on Amazon: $9.90

Buy it here

Life, Reinvented: A Guide to Healing from Sexual Trauma for Survivors and Loved Ones by Erin Carpenter

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From the publisher: Life, Reinvented brings both inspiration and practical tools to survivors of sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse and their friends, family members, and spouses. Combining recent research, years of clinical experience, and first-hand accounts of healing, Erin Carpenter offers a unique viewpoint on recovery from trauma. Life, Reinvented is a truly complete guide to healing. Beginning with the myths and facts about sexual trauma, Erin introduces common symptoms and describes what happens in the brain when trauma occurs. Erin explains in a novel way how trauma-related symptoms are actually signs of healing. Practical tools and easy strategies help survivors manage symptoms, find their strengths, and move toward recovery. Also included is crucial information and direction for loved ones of survivors. Friends, family members, and spouses will find support, validation, and tools to both help the survivor in their lives and recover from their own vicarious trauma. Accessible and beautifully written, Life, Reinvented is an important contribution to the literature about sexual trauma.

Price on Amazon: $14.99

Buy it here

2) It’s more than okay to get down and dirty. But remember good hygiene is important. 

Regardless of whether or not you’re sleeping with one partner or six or none, keeping yourself (and your toys) clean should be at the top of the priority list. Listed below are some of the best products for keeping everything south of the border in pristine condition.

Summer’s Eve Feminine Wash for Sensitive Skin.

Photo via Amazon

Clinically tested for women with sensitive skin. Designed to gently cleanse, freshen and balance your pH levels by removing odor-causing bacteria.

Price on Amazon: $12.33

Buy it here

Summer’s Eve Night-Time Cleansing Cloths for Sensitive Skin.

Photo via Amazon

Go to bed feeling fresh and clean, every single night. Jam packed with lavender and chamomile, these wipes are designed to work with your body.

Price on Amazon: $4.74

Buy it here

Bond Masculine Intimate Wash.

Photo via Amazon

Men deserve soft, firm and supple skin too! This soap will leave you smelling as great as you feel.

Price on Amazon: $10.95

Buy it here

This antibacterial adult toy soap is hypoallergenic, so it’s safe for pretty much everyone.

Photo via Amazon

If you don’t clean your toys, you probably shouldn’t own any. Seriously, that’s disgusting. And don’t say you “don’t have time” because guess what, this spray takes like 30 seconds to disinfect your supply. No excuses. Go clean your toys, you filthy animal.

Price on Amazon: $11.73+

Buy it here

3) Treat yo’self

You don’t need to be in a relationship to get off. But you don’t have to be single to give yourself (or your partner) the gift of a mind-blowing orgasm either. Just get your grubby hands on one (or two, or three…) of the best adult toys on the market. Not sure where to start? Not a problem. Just check out the list below.

This Rabbit massager has double the pleasing power.

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $36.96 (regularly $129.00) 

Buy it here

If you’re looking for something as quiet as a whisper, this is it. 

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $18.99 (regularly $39.00)

Buy it here

Who said vibrators are a one-way street of pleasure?

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $25.96 (regularly $99.00)

Buy it here

Here’s your kit if you’re looking to try something new. 

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $12.77 (regularly $29.95)

Buy it here

4) Protection makes perfect

Unwanted pregnancies are almost as bad as STDs. Luckily, there’s a solution to prevent both. It’s called a condom (you may have heard of them). And yes, they even make some for ladies too. Listed below are the top rated condoms on Amazon. But if you’d like a larger selection to choose from, click here.

More texture may mean more pleasure.

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $9.73

Buy it here

Not sure which condom is for you? Why not try them all? 

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $17.39+

Buy it here

And, of course, for the ladies. 

Photo via Amazon

Price on Amazon: $11.45

Buy it here

MORE BAZAAR DEALS:

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